Welcome

A Christmas Carol and How the Grinch Stole Christmas have always been two of my favorite stories but I never expected to experience the sudden and inexplicable rip in the fabric of my existence through spiritual intervention, live and in person like you would expect to see in a performance. During the month of July in the year of 2009, I had a series of three interactions from strangers in the course of eleven days. These seemingly random encounters had an unexpectedly powerful catalytic effect on my consciousness and I was able to process their underlying encoded meanings. I had been ‘Punk’d’, errr, I mean ‘Scrooged’.

If I had only known how powerful these effects would be, I would have understood the process of integration a little bit better. But maybe that’s a part of growing up too, learning about self comfort and finding the will to give everything I have in the midst of hardship and confusion. Maybe the best place to be is when I have nothing left to give, then the choices I have been given to make become crystal clear. I choose life. The trick for me was in discovering what exactly life is and what it is not. Was it about preserving my life or placing another’s well-being ahead of mine? Which was the highest good, not for someone else, but for me?

Realizing that we are simply life becoming was a powerful enough experience to help me accept every circumstance and love everyone, no matter what. Finally, I became free enough to accept myself, equal to the stars and better than no one. This was a most difficult lesson to learn. I have always wanted to arrive here but thought that the goal was too far away in the distant heavens and an inconceivably impossible achievement during this lifetime on this planet.

Maybe that’s what Ebenezer Scrooge realized. Maybe we can’t really understand the scope of his challenges and subsequent commitment to life without undergoing similar circumstances. Somehow during the night he traveled from a self-loathing existence and found another Ebenezer, this one capable of self-love and the will to share it. No matter what happened next, no matter what anyone did with his love, no matter if punishment or reward were the result, it really didn’t matter. Life became an exercise in serving others rather than being served.

How is this done, you ask? How do we reconnect our heart centers to the one heart? How did I go from self-loathing to finally trusting in MYSELF and Divine Oneness?  I couldn’t possibly explain it, not in a million zillion years. For me, luck has nothing to do with it and no matter how much I begged and screamed, the resolution was only found after great pain, immense heartache, so intense that I understood that it certainly would cause my death if not relieved.

In this revelation, I came to know another identity, one that we aren’t told about, one that reveals itself in divine order. There’s something really special about these times on Earth. If we could comprehend too much of the truth, we’d be transported quickly out of this dimension. So maybe it’s better that we experience heaven a little at a time, sometimes more than other times, but never more than we can handle at once.

Dawn at Sunset Beach