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Arriving home after the storm

April 2, 2010

In my most significant relationships as an adult, the other existed to torture, belittle, confuse, obfuscate, deny, and lie about who I was…

…and I needed them to do this.

It fit the pattern of thinking that had been created for me by earlier authority figures. The other in the relationships intended hatred, repressed anger, and purposeful hardship in my life, taking pleasure in the pain that they inflicted. In short, they needed someone to hate, to funnel unexpressed pent-up rage. In fact, these people could not exist without a scapegoat or they would go crazy because they are crazy. And I was insane to have adopted this mindset.

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